The first time.

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit." -Dawna Markova



I stole this quote off of Ali Edward's Life Artist newsletter that was in my inbox two days ago. Sometimes it is so amazing to me when I am completely caught off guard by how beautiful, poignant, and perfectly apt something is for where I am in my life. I love those moments, when my skin prickles with excitement as if I have seen a ghost...when I have read, heard, seen or otherwise experienced something that truly matters. Something that lifts back the curtain of the everyday, the mundane chore of living and touches my soul.



This is the way I want to live. And ridiculously, as a cancer survivor, the way I should be living. After all, I have touched the end of life as if brushing by a stranger in a crowd. I have experienced the fear, the finality, the loss, the sorrow, the end of dreams. But what seeps in after years of knowing is: life. That is where the difference is most pronounced; The difference between those two small words: "life" and "live". They are both valuable and in some superficial ways, the same. But to me they are worlds away from each other. My life is what takes me away from conscious living...that is meant as neither good or bad. It is what is. But to "live" is to make choices...to guide life as much as possible and to do it with intention.



So, I just did a search for the author of that quote, Dawna Markova, and this is what I came up with: Apparently, she is a psychotherapist, researcher, and lecturer with a PhD in psychotherapy and education. She works with third world organizations as well as many others. She has published a book and a website of the name "Spot of Grace". The website can be found at http://www.spotofgrace.com/ . I think that I need to excavate these connections further. I am intrigued by another fine quote I picked up from the site which goes as follows:



"I have faith that each child, every human being, has a gift--a spot of grace--that they are meant to bring to the world. They deserve to have unlimited access to this seed in their soul. I have faith that each of us brings a unique value to the larger whole. This is my profession. If I give voice and energy to it, every one of the days of my life will count for something. If not, every day will be wasted." –Dawna Markova, author of 'Spot of Grace'



A spot of grace...I love that. It is very interesting, as I just listened to one of my favorite radio programs called "Speaking of Faith" and heard this same thing referred to as the divine spark or holy ghost. It was an excellent interview with Rev Dr. John Polkinghorne. The interview covered the Reverend's ability to marry his background in Physics with religion. The interview can be found at: http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/quarks/

This is all definitely food for thought. I find it immensely interesting when a window is opened that brings me more knowledge, more choices, and more insight into my life and my effort to live everyday with intention.

I guess this isn't too bad for the first time.